Passport…and other stuff

Well, I applied for an emergency passport yesterday. I'm supposed to go back to the embassy on Monday about 2 pm to pick it up. The tricky part is that after picking it up I'll have to race across town to make it to the Kenyan immigration by 4 pm. If I don't make it there and get my Dependents pass and re-entry permit redone then I will have to pay $50 to leave the country (basically buying a visitor's visa) and $50 to come back in to the country (another visitor's visa). This trip is continuing to get more and more expensive.

Yesterday I also replaced my Press Pass (the picture is much better this time…sadly don't have a camera so I can't post a picture of the new one).

I also got my freelance agreement, which means that the $500 course fee for WJI will be waived. The agreement is with the Nation Newspaper (one of the Kenya's national newspapers) and basically is that they will agree to consider published two articles I write while attending WJI.

On another note, I also bought some Moleskin notebooks (David isn't that what you use). They are very nice little notebooks with sturdy black cardboard covers that fit nicely in the back pocket of a pair of jeans. I lost my notebook I had been using for everything when I was robbed so I decided to replace it with some a little nicer.

Last night I watched three movies. I just needed to upwind. I'm so tense and stressed…probably more so because I now feel I wasted a bunch of time but I needed it. I've done very little to relax and unwind since the robbery and I really needed it.

Now I'm feeling overly stressed because I have so much to do and VERY little time. A sample of my to do list which changed dramatically because of the robbery:

• transcribe interviews that I did in Nakuru
  
• Write article about IDPs for Nation newspaper
  
• Write article about Kenya, five months on for World
  
• Write article about hijacking/robbery possibly for World on the Web
  
• READ, READ, READ
  
• Do research on speakers at WJI
  
• Do writing assignments for WJI (when I do them I'll be posting them here on my blog so be on the lookout…especially since you don't usually get to read my "article" style writing.
  
• PACK, PACK, PACK (right now I don't actually know what I'm going to back my stuff in!)
  
• Oh that's about all...maybe…probably not though
  

Please continue to pray…the struggle is not over and adding lots of stress on top of trauma only serves to bury the trauma not deal with it. Not the best thing but I don't know what to do right now….I've talked it out until I'm so sick of talking about it. I've thought about it, I've prayed about it, I've pushed it down, away wherever, I've given Viyerrah good advice…poor guy he had to ride home last night on the same kind of bus at almost the same time. I kinda feel numb right now and I don't like that. Like I said I'm sick of talking about it, it's gotten to the point I know all the points that make people go, "Oh my," so I find myself dwelling on them, I guess to make people feel sorry for me and yeah it's just annoying.

Ok well I must get back to work and at least TRY to get a few things finished today.

Realignment

I remember back when I owned a car, I had to get the tires changed and I was asked if I wanted to have them aligned. Honestly because I'm rather on the clueless side when it comes to auto mechanics, I have no idea why tires need to be aligned or realigned or how they get out of alignment, but the term fits my life at the moment.

I feel like the past few weeks I have been undergoing realignment. As is usually true in life thing like this take a lot longer in humans than they do in cars.

So what do I mean by realignment? I mean that somewhere along the past few years my life has gotten out of alignment. Although I'm still running in the right direction, I'm no longer running in sync with God. I'm still following him yes, but certain things have turned me slightly off the path making it more difficult for me to stay on it. As I understand out of alignment and realignment – the tires on a car while still going in the same general direction that the car should be going aren't quite running a straight path, aren't quite all pointing in the exact same direction. That is how I feel I've been. I'm just been missing something. It not that I'm not a Christian or even that I'm not living the Christian Life, its that because I'm out of alignment its been that much harder to live the Christian Life.

I believe that the entire Christian Life is an exercise in realignment – we are taken from this world and slowly God moves us into perfect alignment with His Kingdom. Yet I also believe that there are times when the realignment exercise is more vigorous and pronounced. I've been going through one of these times.

I'm not quite sure when I should say that it started because it moved from the subtle to the obvious without my acknowledgment. For sure I can say that it had begun by the time we started Msafara. For sure I can say the first obvious movement in my life towards correct alignment came on the trip from Mombasa to Nairobi. The conversations I engaged in jolted me probably not into alignment but definitely from the position of out of alignment I had been in for a few years. That conversation was just the beginning, conversations, sermons, things I've been reading in the Bible and otherwise, thought processes, circumstances are a few of the things God has been using to get me realigned.

What will realignment look like in my life? I'm not entirely sure. A few possibilities include writing more but caring less about where that writing in published; writing more about specific things and less about just anything; learning to say NO more often; caring less what others think about me and much more what GOD thinks about me; caring more about relationships with others yet depending less on those relationships; planning less and living more freely and spontaneously. Those are a few general things that I believe God has been realigning me towards. One specific thing is the idea to start writing clubs in impoverished areas like Kibera slums. I believe that writing, photography, videography, art, music and the like can be used to help these young people cope with and possibly even change their surroundings. Of course in some ways this comes out of the school visit I did on Friday but it has been in my heart for longer than that – it was definitely one of the areas where I was out of alignment.

A Few Rough Days

Yesterday and today were rough days. Nothing bad or anthing just frustrating. Yesterday work was crazy. Problems arose due to communication issues (for those of you who remember I quit my last job working under Kenyans - teaching at my former school - because of communication issues).

Msafara has 7 departments:

- The Secretariat (where Dad works) which is headed by Pastor Oscar (an amazing man with an amazing vision) and is pretty much in charge of everything.
- The Msafara organization department, which is responsible to make sure Msafara takes off as planned, headed by Pastor M.
- The Logisics department, responsible to make sure everything from now until March 17th runs smoothly.
- The Spiritual department, responsible for prayer and fasting now and planning the "spiritual" events of Msafara, headed by Pastor Simon.
- The Communty Networking Department, which has a longer term goal of bringing pastors together to promote peace and unity in Kenya
- The Humanitarian department, responsible to planning and coordinating relief to interally displaced people (IDPs).
- my department, the Media department, headed byPastor Gowi (who is doing an amazing job trying to bring together so much stuff in so little time), which is responsible for media relations, advertising, PR and getting out positive redemptive stories of hope highlighting what the church is doing.

Needless to say the things done in each department overlap and that means sometimes we are doing double work.

Then yesterday I felt redundent. The only thing it seemed I was contributing was my computer and my typing skills - necessary but not very fulfilling.

Thankfully by the end of the day I had a few more things to do, like helping Pastor Oscar write and edit a message for Pastors to help them know how to get involved. I enjoy working with P. Oscar because he expresses himself in a way that I easily understand and grasp onto. I also got some information about a posssible story I can write.

Today was a lazy day. I didn't do much. But it was one of those frustrating and discouraging days. Reflecting on the difficult and unenjoyable parts of the past week didn't help much. However, another GO missionary - Rhonda - came for lunch and we had a wonderful time of fellowship and then we went into town for a little while.

I know that no matter how rough the past few days have been tomorrow will erase it all. I love going to our church. Amazing worship, good teaching - the whole service, even the announcements, are uplifting and focused on God. I can only say thank you to HIM for bringing the church into our lives.

Now if I could only find some friends! And get rid of the ants which have invaded my room!!

Hopefully I get some pictures taken this week and posted. I'm sure you are all bored of continual words and no exciting visuals.