There have been bad days before in my life - but none like today. Right now I'll admit that I don't ever see how I'll be a journalist if it means intentional putting myself in these kinds of situations. Fear, Anger, Sadness, Hopelessness or this degree are emotions I don't want to experience. I was so afraid - afraid don't even describe it - terrified. I was so angry today I yelled at a man - just because he is Kalenjin. Sadness - how do you explain the sadness of losing your life yet still having to live. Losing your best friend you have ever had and not even really being able to say goodbye because she had to run to reach the vehicle that was taking her away. Saying goodbye to a "daughter" who now has no hope in life. Who is scared and worried. Who wonders if she'll even go to school again. Watching a Kenyan boy cry until the tears drip off his face because his life is no longer stable. Hopelessness of realizing that the past few years have been near worthless. Hopelessness knowing that some of my friends are actually among the group of boys destroying others lives. When we look at the big picture its kinda like just get me out of here but when you look at individuals its becomes difficult. Kenya will never be the same. If things continue like this - the economy will be ruined for years to come. Londiani will never be the same again because so many will never return and those that do will retain an element of fear and hostility.
Friday, January 4, 2008
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3 comments:
As my mother sent your dad. We have no idea of the pain and heartbreak you are going through. But from the outside not being physically and emotionally attached as you. Remember this YOU HELPED PLANT GOD'S SEED into these people. You may never see the out come from planting the seed. The seed is still there. What better gift is there to give to friends, family and yes even enemies? Our hearts and prayers go out to you every waking moment. We pray God covers you, your friends, and your family with these prayers. We love you
Rene', Marc, BEN, Chris, Danielle
PS Please give Jed a hug from Ben
I concur. This situation is bad. There is no question there, but it does not make the past few years worthless. The physical building might be damaged or even destroyed, but hasn't the spiritual building been the point all along? Be encouraged, God still knows what he is doing and nothing is worthless in His hands.
The emotions you are feeling are real. The heart of a writer is the ability to take those emotions and transform them into words so that the rest of the world can feel them too. You are learning things that now cannot be taught in a school. Be God's Voice as you describe what you see through His eyes, and feel through His heart.
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