Needing to Blog

I don't know how many people actually read this. But right now I need the therapy it provides. Today was difficult. I would see a bus like the bus we were on and cringe. Something would remind me and I'd relive some of the moments. I slept well last night, with a little aid from some mild medicine, but not anywhere near long enough. I woke up worried about Viyerrah and had no way to contact him. Worried that something had happened to him between my house and his, worried that he was hit harder than he realized, worried that he had a concussion and knowing if so he should have been woken up every few hours, worried about how he was emotionally especially considering the fact that one of the men pointed the gun at him and said "Kijana umetoa simu, kama hutoi nitakuua saa hii." (translation: young man – but it's an insult to call someone Viyerrah's age, 26, that – have you given out your phone? If you don't I'm going to kill you right now). This was repeated with his phone and wallet because his phone was in the bag he had already given them and he doesn't carry a wallet. At least they never threatened to kill me – actually, they were relatively nice to me. I felt like if I didn't see him today and see with my own eyes that he was ok that I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight.

Today we tried to gather the pieces left from the damage done last night – most importantly the loss of my passport. We went to the police station where I had recorded my losses last night and got an abstract which is required to replace my passport. Then we went and got new passport photos, then I went and recovered my phone number (of course I lost all the numbers I had for people and have to start at zero). So all those things went smoothly and successfully.

Then we went to the American Embassy. Apartly the consular section has the last Wednesday of the month off, which yes that would be today, and then tomorrow is a Kenyan holiday so they are off again. Meaning…I won't even get into the America Embassy until Friday. Then after they help me out I still need to go to the Kenyan immigration and attempt to get things worked out there. Please pray that all goes well. I'm supposed to leave on Monday evening.

My long list of things to do has been chopped into little bits and pieces. There is no way now that I can accomplish most of those things. Especially considering that, the way I am feeling emotionally means that taking public transport is temporarily out of the question. I have three stories I desperately need to write, but I'm not thinking clear enough to write publishable stories. I have books I need to read but one of them is about the genocide in Rwanda (I've already read it once) and wow right now…that's not a good place for my mind to go. Now all my thoughts are geared towards getting my passport and getting somewhere safe and secure.

I don't like the way I'm feeling. I don't like that I'm withdrawing and getting really quiet. I don't like that I constantly feel the many bruises on my arms and legs. Somehow I have to learn to deal with secondary and primary trauma because in my line of work…it happens and the story still must be written.

Many people have sent me wonderful and encouraging emails. They are helpful but I'm having a hard time seeing as far as most of the people are seeing. I'm stuck at about 8:45 PM on April 29^th. I knew I'll move on, I'll get over it but I'm not looking forward to the ensuing time before I move on and get over it. It took me 3 months to start to move on and get over what happened in Londiani and that was trauma imposed upon me from a distant source not one sitting right next to me. It does make a difference.

Morning

I slept well. I'll admit though I had a little help…advil and Benadryl…to help ensure I slept. I woke up earlier than I would have like and I'm sore…for two reasons. One I dragged a backpack around the whole day yesterday, do because of the awkward position in which I lay on the floor in the bus last night. Today I start the annoying process of getting my passport replaced. I'll keep you informed on how that goes.

Thoughts on being robbed

I know can claim, "I've been robbed at gunpoint." Its not exactly something I ever wished to be able to say. Currently I'm wondering if I'll ever in my life be able to get back in one of those buses…if nothing else I'll wonder and pray every time I think until I get home. I'm also wondering how long the image of the young man sitting next to me, standing up and pointing a gun at me while saying "everyone lay down" will stick with me. Or the memory of lying in an extremely uncomfortable and awkward position on the floor while wondering where on earth we were, what on earth is going to happen and if it would ever end. God is still good in the end…I'm ALIVE. I have a few scraps and plenty of bruises, I los equipment (some of it my dad's) worth about $2,000, but what is that compared to my life. I had a friend with me who is also still alive, after being threatened about three times, that they were going to kill him. After they stopped threatening him (because they finally figured out he had actually given them his phone), he lay on the floor, space the is barely big enough to fit your knees, with me laying semi, and very awkwardly on top of him and wrapped his arms around me while I lay there trying to be quiet yet crying. When it was over (the thugs/thieves, who are related to an outlawed and very violent sect, jumped out somewhere on the road and left a bus full of cry, angry people lying on the bus floor) I had lost my phone, my dad's Canon Rebel Camara, my Canon sureshot Camera, my tripod, my notebook full of important info, my wallet, my drivers license (from the states), my press pass, my Heart of Evangelism Book (required reading for WJI), and my PASSPORT. Yes my passport…I'm leaving, flying out of the country in 5 and I repeat FIVE days!!! But yet again I say all is well because I came out of the situation alive and generally unhurt. Viyerrah came out alive and generally unhurt…expect where the thug clocked him alongside his head with the gun (no blood though and I hope not a concussion). I'm sure there will be more to come on this experience but my meds (I took something to help me sleep) are finally kicking in.

Sunday

Sunday was fun. Here's how it went.

Youth Service was let by K-Krew which is a youth ministry that reaches out the youth through music and media. Its very cool and I'm slowly getting involved in a few ways. Musicians from the Krew led the service, lots of singing and dancing and an excellent message. A group of dancers from the youth group also "performed."

Two of the group (Musa - a friend is on the right)

Ok so that is actually people dancing - I thought it was a cool, funky picture

After the service Mercy and I (oh yes Mercy is home for a few days…she leaves tomorrow through) went with a few of my acquaintances downtown. There was a reggae concert and one of my good friends, Viyerrah, was singing. So about 5 of us went to support him. It was great fun, except for two things: Mercy got a headache…I need to give up on taking her to concerts it always happens, and when we got to Karen, where we have to switch from a bus to a matatu…there were no matatus!!! So we had to take a bus and it takes a route that is like 3 times as long as the matatu. Oh well….(I didn't have enough money for a taxi or I would have taken one!)

One of the girls I went with (Madge) and that's Viyerrah looking wierd (look under her chin :)

Viyerrah singing (the white flash - foot and arm - is the main singer. Man could he jump)

The Band

This picture is from Friday, I thought it was funny…

Friends: Rhoda, Musa and Viyerrah at a fruit stand
(sadly I was taking the picture so couldn't be in it)

This week…will be INSANE. A preview

Monday (as in today): writing, shopping, media forum

Tuesday: Trip to Nakuru

Wednesday: Forum on Slum education, get my ID, do random things in town

Thursday: Visit a school and getting them started on a project we are doing together

Friday: Shopping, saying goodbye to friends, If I want to an all night Christian Rave

Saturday: Visiting Day at the primary school I'm working with

Sunday: Church, packing

Monday: Packing, leaving

Maybe it doesn't sound like much to you, but its too much!

Crazy Times

I'm having a few crazy weeks.

I have confirmed that I will be attending the WJI journalism course in NYC starting on May 11^th. But I don't have my ticket yet due to a really poor interest connection the last couple of days (pray that I can actually get on today and purchase the ticket).

I'm planning to leave Kenya on the night of May 5^th which means I'll arrive in Atlanta the night of May 6^th. My four days in Highlands will basically be consumed with a massive amount of reading since I was only able to get 3 of the 5 required reading books and none of the 7 recommended. So yes, I'll be READING…the crazy.

This past week has been crazy. Monday was my boring day J. Tuesday I visited a primary school about 40 minutes from Nairobi. This private school was closed down due to lack of students after the government introduced free primary education in 2002. After the post-election violence (if you had any idea how often I've written those two words….) Nairobi Chapel (that would be my church) did a great deal of work with IDPs (internally displaced persons…another three words I write way too often). One of their biggest projects was putting students back in school, especially 8^th graders who needed to be registered for their end of primary school exams (exams which determine if and where they will go to secondary school and thus determining their future because which secondary school you go to determines if you will go to university and be able to get a job). So they found out about this closed down school and essentially reopened it for 74 8^th grade students. Now the reason I went to visit the school is that I'm going to be working with these 74 students to help them write down their stories. These are kids who saw their homes burned, friends killed, lived in IDP camps with little food. Actually for most of these kids, their parents and other siblings are still in the camps. The initial reason for getting their stories is for Nairobi Chapel to have a record of their journey with the IDPs, for me its much bigger than that. I want to help these kids learn to love writing, to have a chance to use writing as a means to finding healing from their wounds, and to help them improve in English. So I went to learn where the school is and to introduce myself to the kids and the teachers. They were very excited, which of course makes me very excited.

Wednesday, my sis Mercy came home (she's here for a week). For those of you who don't know her, she's Kenyan, she's a nurse and she works at a hospital about 4 hours drive from Nairobi. Her job requires her to one week of night duty each month, but the advantage comes that after one week of nights she gets one week off. So Wednesday I accomplished little but that was ok.

Thursday, I thought would be a productive day but everything I tried that day failed. First I was supposed to go to Nakuru to do interviews at the IDP camps for an article I'm writing for the Nation newspaper. But my travel partner back out and then there was the possibility of unrest and tension due to some political silliness. So I didn't go (and still haven't). Instead I took Mercy to explore Nairobi a bit…now that I'm an expert I can show other people around…right I don't know when I'll ever figure Nairobi out but I'm trying. We tried to go to the British Airways offices but they have moved…to the airport which is 20 km from the city. We tried to apply for my alien ID but I didn't have all the stuff I needed. I tried to go to the Associated Press offices to see if they have a book I need but I forgot how you get there. So I bought new shoes instead and called it a day.

Jana (that means yesterday), I went out to lunch with a friend who will be leaving to return to Switzerland a couple weeks after I get back. Then I hung out with another friend of mine and he took me to a Hip Hope (as in Hip Hop with the message of Hope) concert at a school about 15 minutes from home. That was fun.

This morning I'm feeling groggy…its raining out and low pressure always makes me feel like this, then I overslept. Today I think I'm staying at home (unless it stops raining then I'll take Mercy to the Hip Hope concert today.

What's ahead of me: (please realize I'm making my to do list here J)

• buy my tickets
  
• buy my books
  
• transcribing interviews
  
• making phone calls and doing phone interviews
  
• putting together as much of my article as I can without the missing interviews
  
• putting together all that I already have for Nairobi Chapel IDP journal
  
• attend church tomorrow
  
• attend a reggae concert tomorrow afternoon (a good friend is singing and I want to support him)
  
• have a bash (party) for my friends on Monday
  
• maybe, possibly attend a forum hosted by the Foreign Correspondents Association discussing foreign and local media coverage of the elections and post-election violence on Monday evening.
  
• go to Nakuru and get my interviews on Tuesday
  
• finish my article
  
• Attend a forum on education for slum children on Wednesday morning
  
• READ
  
• Finish my correspondence course (that's 4 lessons!) will that really happen
  
• go shopping for new clothes
  
• turn in pictures for a Red Cross fundraiser
  
• visit Kamori primary school and get the students started on the writing project
  
• go back to Immigration and apply for my id card
  

Well that's all I can think of right now

Oh I forgot PACKING J silly me

Yeah and more will get added to that list before the one week in which its all supposed to get done is finished.

Oh yes, don't expect to hear much from me the next few days J

My Walk

So I did what I said I was going to do to relieve my boredom. I walked down our road – took pics. Then I got a mat but there I was not brave enough to take pictures, I don't enjoy being stared at or asked for money. But I'm going to do it one of these days before I leave for America, even if it means telling people I'm writing a article about public transport (and no that's not a lie cause I'm writing one for an assignment for my correspondence course). Then I hung out at Nakumatt Karen (Nakumatt is like Walmart but more expensive and less extensive). I bought a newspaper and a coffee at a little coffee shop (David it was the closest to one of your mochas I've had in Kenya but still not so good). Then to my horror it started to rain. Sadly in my pictures you can't see what I'm wear but I was wear a sundress (as in spaghetti straps) with a tank top underneath and jean capris with Teva sandals. In Kenya when it rains its not like in America. In America if its warm out and it rains its still warm out, in Kenya if it rains, it doesn't matter what the weather was like 1 minute before the rain starts, when it rains it always gets cold. I was freezing, sitting outside at a table (with one of those little umbrella things over it) and the rain was blowing on me. My mocha helped a little bit but not much. Then my dad came but so did one of my friends – Viyerrah (the only pictures I have of him are from Msafara, I'll take some next time we hang out and post them). He's an intern at my church but is on loan to a sister church. He lives about 10 minutes from my house and we have been hanging out a couple of times a week. So after paying Dad 50 shilllings (75 cents) I convinced him to pick me up at the end of our road in about an hour. Viyerrah and I wandered around Nakumatt and talked before I got a Mat back home. Oh and Viyerrah loaned me his sweater so I was no longer freezing! It was a fun evening. Here are some pictures:

Going out our gate (Jed - my little brother is opening it for me

Our road/driveway

More of the boring dirt road (now since the rain its mud), pretty trees overhead though

Some kids chilling at the end of the driveway - "Mzungu tupige picha = Hey white girl, take our picture" Halafa "Anapiga picha ya kila kitu = later "She taking pictures of everything." I don't think they realized I understood as much swahili as I do.

I love that fact and I love smiling Kenyan children even when they make fun of me.

The signboard for our road. If you want to read a funny story by one of my friends about not being able to find my road check out http://joyinkenya.blogspot.com

Random picture of my foot walking down the dirt road

Waiting for a Mat - across the main road looking back up our road.

The main road, which you can't see but it full of potholes and patches (and this is in one of the upscale parts of Nairobi!)

Hope you've enjoyed my random pictures. More to come soon. I hope to document the next two weeks so that I have lots of pictures to take with me to the states. I've got to show off my new home right (I've got a couple thousand pictures from Londiani but only a few from Nairobi).

Bored

Today I'm bored, yesterday I was bored, Saturday I had a terrible headache which kept me inside the whole day so of course I was bored (Friday was a good exciting not boring day). Honestly I have this sudden urge to take my camera, walk down our road (taking pictures of course), get a mat (that's short for a matatu and is a 14 passenger vehicle commonly used for public transport around here – and also known as a death trap) and ride up to Karen (it only cost 20 shillings – 30 cents)all the while taking pictures then come home and post them on my blog. How does that sound to you? Of course I'm not sure I'll do it. But it's a cool thought…and I am BORED! I should be relaxing enjoying a relaxing day since I know the rest of my week is going to be so busy I will hardly be able to think. And working on reading all my reading assignments.

A Simple Jar of Peanut Butter

The jar of peanut butter was sitting on the counter, unopened. I watched as my brother placed the bread on the counter beside it and went to bring the homemade strawberry jam from the fridge. And I thought to myself, "That peanut butter hasn't been opened."

At that moment David must have realized my thoughts as he looked at me with a grin, "Don't even think about it. It my turn." Not ready to admit defeat, I protested, "No, you opened the last jar, this time I should get to."

Yes, we were actually arguing over who would get to open the jar of peanut butter. For both of us there had always been something special about opening a jar of peanut butter, looking down at the unmarred smooth surface with the three precise ripples and one little peak made by the machine that had filled the jar. Then after admiring this odd form of beauty would come the ultimate moment, the prize we were fighting over. To take a knife or a spoon and gently dip it into the glossy brown surface, taking the first glob of peanut butter and destroying the newness of that particular jar of peanut butter. Of course the rest of the prize was that you didn't use the first knifeful for your sandwich, oh no that was sanctified – set apart – just for the mouth of the prize winner.

Its been years since I have engaged in the ritual ceremony of opening the peanut butter jar. Partly because my brother has been married for the past eight years and half of the fun was in the race to see who could win this particular prize. The other reason…because in Kenya we buy natural peanut butter, the kind with a layer of goopy oil on top which must be mixed into the rest of the butter before it can be used.

However, I have not written the story of the peanut butter jar for no reason. Actually I believe it has a spiritual significance in my life, I just haven't figured it out yet. So while I'm trying to discover what deep spiritual meaning this insignificant little story could possibly have, I hope you have enjoyed the story and please by all means find a friend or a sibling and discover the competition and fun of being the first to open the peanut butter jar.

Please note: I have no idea why I just wrote this little story but I felt like writing something and this was what I felt like writing about. So since I wrote it I figure others might as well read it – that's why I'm posting it to my blog. David, I hope you read this and laugh as you remember. I don't know what made me remember how we used to do this but when I did I just felt like writing about it. Maybe some day I'll have your way with words and telling stories from our childhood to make a point.

Decision Almost Made

This morning I asked my Dad what he thought I should do about the WJI course in NYC. His response, "GO!" So as my title says, the decision is almost made, with my gut feeling telling me to go and my dad telling me to go along with the advice of a few trusted friends who have all said go, its looking like the decision will be yes I will go. The only thing standing in my way of making that firm decision is a plane ticket! (or rather the money for it) however I think by Monday I will simply decide one way or another and let God figure out the rest, especially the finances. So now I have lots to do – I have five reading/writing assignments, plus all the other stuff going on in my life which now must be wrapped up so I can leave it for one month. And today I have a terrible headache – probably the worst headache I've had in 5 years. So I'm not doing much – actually I've spent the whole morning (its 1:00 pm here) laying on my bed doing nothing. The headache has finally subsided enough that I can look at my computer screen but now my stomach is feeling unsettled. Please pray this ends today because from Monday I have a very full week – traveling, interviews, visiting a school, a couple of concerts, of course writing, trying to finish up the correspondence course I've been working on and who knows what else.

Well keep checking back here for more of what's going on in my life. I know the next few weeks will be very busy and exciting.

A BIG decision!!!

Today I got an email. This email starts with, "Dear Aspiring Journalists, Congratulations to each of you for your acceptance into the WJI New York Convergence course to be held this May 11-30! We are looking forward to meeting you."

 

This is to say that the World Journalism Course that I had applied for, well I was accepted.

 

So I have a BIG decision to make. Going for the course is a major opportunity. Only 13 students were accepted this year and I was one of them. It means I would finally get to go to NYC – not just go but go to school there and work there for 3 weeks. It would give me exposure to many prominent journalist, force me to practice and hone my skills as a journalist while learning many new things. And one of the things I think about is that as I'm working on starting a project to teach impoverished children writing/media skills this would give me more knowledge and skills which I can pass on to them. If you want to know more about the course check out WJI New York Convergence Course.

 

The negative sides include that I have to be gone from Kenya for 1 month. And that is 1 month at a time when I have many amazing opportunities here: writing for the Nation Newspaper, working with Nairobi Chapel, working with K Krew in their radio and TV programs, website and missions, starting my impoverished children's media program in three schools and possibly in some of the Compassion Int'l projects, and who knows what else. It would definitely be hard to leave right now.

 

Yet I think, its just for a month, all of those things will still be here when I come back and this opportunity might never come again. I mean what journalist wouldn't love to get their start in NYC??? I applied for this course during the turmoil that was Kenya in January, feeling that I was actually eligible and that since life was so confusing, it might be a good time to go for it. Now life is not so confusing and I have so many things going on but I still did apply because I felt I should.

 

Please pray with me as I make this decision over the next few days. Also pray that God will provide the necessary finances: I need a plane ticket from here to probably Atlanta and then to NYC and back, I will also need money for personal expenses and other things that come up. Thankfully I have the money I made writing for WORLD which will cover the tuition fee.

 

AHHH, I'm excited. God has provided me with SO MANY opportunities. Actually I'm writing this blog while I wait for a pastor to come back to his office so I can interview him for an article I'm working on. This whole week as been filled with meetings and interviews and believe me, I LOVE my job!! Like I said God is doing amazing things!

Radio Cameo

So the amazing opportunities, new experiences and total God deals keep happening in my life. Tonight I was live on Hope FM – the best Christian radio Station in Kenya (and an amazing station period – Christian or not). I got to hang out with some of the coolest guys in the radio, music and DJ business - the K Krew on their radio show – Kubamba. I was there with my friend Ken to help promote their new venture – A TV show – which I have the great privilege to help shoot tomorrow afternoon. Like I said – God is doing some amazing stuff in my life!!

Here's an update on those things:

• Articles published in World Magazine and World on the Web
  
• Opportunity to work at Msafara
  
• Numerous stories published on the Msafara Website
  
• The Trip (Masafara) itself and visiting new places and meeting lots of new people
  
• Speaking at New Dawn school and recognizing my passion to teach others to love writing and journalism
  
• Connecting with the Country Director of Compassion International
  
• Getting an opportunity to write for Nation Newspaper (one of the two big newspapers in Kenya) and that opportunity essentially dropped into my lap
  
• Connecting with K Krew, getting to help out with their TV show, their missions, their website and today their radio show
  
• Getting to write about the IDP situation in Kenya through the eyes of people from Nairobi Chapel who have been helping them
  
• Writing for Silent Images
  

At all that is in the past 3 months!!! Amazing!!

What a wonderful God I serve.

Its Official

I'm a Journalist - with an official Press Pass issued by the Foreign Correspondents Association of East Africa. So I guess I can say that its official - I'm a foreign correspondent??? :).

Oh and I know the picture...yes its probably one of the worst pictures ever taken of me - I still can't figure out why in the world I had a passport photo taken when I had my hair like that. But it was the only ones my dad had and I didn't have time or money to get new ones done today. One of my friends told me that it makes me look like a gangster - not a compliment.

Well now I have access to parts of the world only accessable by the infamous PRESS!

A JOB!!

Today I got a "job" meaning that I have an editor that is interested in using me as a freelance journalist. I'm going to be writing a couple of stories about the IDP situation here in Kenya for one of the two big national newspapers in Kenya. It means a number of interviews, traveling and writing – who could ask for more than that! Plus if I do a good job probably the potential that the newspaper with use me more in future. An additional exciting part was that when I told her that I have a friend who can go with me and take video when I'm do interviews in the IDP camps (by the way IDP stands for Internally Displaced Persons in case you were wondering) and that video might be on the TV station run by the same company as the newspaper. Exciting stuff. Well let me get back to work.

A Story

Recently I was priviledged to meet another photojournalist – someone who shares a common dream as I, but is miles ahead of me in the journey. He was here in Kenya with Persecution Project (the organization which has so graciously allowed us to stay in their house for the past few months) and stayed in the house with us. It was a pleasure to talk with him about our common dream. Before he left, he asked me to write a story for his website site. If you would like to read it please click here. It is a story that is very personal and very raw but sometimes those are the most moving and powerful stories. Hope you enjoy it. While you are at the site please check out David's amazing pictures and stories.