A Good Day

I had a good day today. But before I talk about that let me go back to last night.

Last night I had a long facebook chat with a close friend, Cornelia (check out her blog at Joy in Kenya). It really helped. Probably the best way for me to process things is through writing rather than talking and its even more helpful when I'm writing in response to someone else's questions and responses.

We worked through a lot of different things and she forced me to considering not just my thought process that night but also my feelings…something I rarely do unless forced to. People who know me will know that its easy for me to talk about myself, what I've done, what I think about things but I rarely talk about my feelings, basically because I usually haven't gone that far myself and thought about what I feel.

There were a couple things that stood out to me about this whole ordeal:

1. It was an invasion of my personal space. I think the fact that I was sitting next to one of the young men (actually the first to stand up and pull out a gun) made it very personal and very invasive. This caused me to push my personal boundaries, with pretty much everyone, way back. Although generally unconscious, I definitely withdrew and pushed people away. You can ask my parents how quiet I was yesterday and even today though today has been much better. I didn't mind talking about what happened but when someone started asking questions…the boundary had been reached.
   
2. I felt guilty. I felt that I had somehow missed hear God's voice. Mainly because looking back there were so many little warning signs I should have heeded but didn't. It really bothered me that I could miss God's voice in something like this…that I'm so focused on myself and the people around me that I don't bother to listen to HIM, the person who I should be listening to more than anyone else. Especially since hearing God's voice is something I have been frustrated about for a while now.
   
3. There was a connection between myself and the young man sitting next to me. As he stood up, pulled out the gun and told us all to lay down…I looked straight at him, straight into his eyes and he looked back. I saw the fear, the anger, the terror, the wondering if this would really work…I saw it all. I have no idea what he saw in my eyes, but somehow I think whatever it was it affected him as well.
   

 

Well I'm back a few hours later. I was invited out to a concert which was extremely enjoyable but back to my good day first.

 

I slept well last night (again with a little help) but woke up a little bit earlier than I would have liked.

 

Mom and Dad took me shopping today to help me finish getting everything I need to go. We went to a shopping mall, but although I tried on a few things I never found anything I liked (that fit me). I had planned to buy a belt but the store wasn't open (today is some random Kenyan holiday…I don't know which one)

 

Then Mom took me shopping to an open air market where you can buy mtumba(used) clothes. I love shopping at these places because you can find the most random things and the prices really aren't bad (eg I've boughten American Eagle and Diesel jeans there for less than $15 and you would think they are new, Banana Republic shirts for less than $5 etc etc). Of course the colour of my skin means I pay a bit more than Kenyans would be still the prices aren't bad. Today I used the sob story that I had been robbed two days ago to try to get them to lower the prices…last time I went it was that I'm an IDP (internally displaced person). I always find someway to get the price to come down.

 

So I got home and was chilling out doing a few things, thinking about watching one of the three movies I rented today when a friend called and wanted to know if I was interested in going to this concert at the coolest "club" in Nairobi – Carnivore. The best part this was a Christian concert done by guys from the worship team of one of my church (Nairobi Chapel) sister churches (Mavuno – which means harvest in Swahili). Since they were going to pick me and drop me in a taxi I felt safe going and said YES!! It was great fun hanging out with Cornelia, Njeri, Mimo, Gedion and Viyerrah (who made me get out on the dance floor and move a little bit…at least tonight he said I didn't dance like a Mzungu…I guess that 1/250^th of African blood in me is helpful..just don't make me dance to hiphop I can't get the moves fast enough).

 

The only bad parts of my day..seeing Citi Hoppa buses, and driving around the general area where it happened. Also the market we went to is on the street the driver was forced to turn off onto so it made me think a bit.

 

However the good far outweighs the bad. One thing both Viyerrah and I have said…no riding Citi Hoppas for a long time …especially not #24.

 

Good night.